Today I hiked 8 miles. I’ve been learning how to do things alone. And while I miss having a trail partner, I’ve realized that I’ve always been my best trail partner. My latest acid trip revealed that. I loved having my friends with me, but I no longer needed them to be ok. I had myself, and that was enough, that was everything. So today I hiked, and I found my old spot where I first tripped three years ago. It had all changed, yet was so familiar. And that’s how life goes. Man, I haven’t changed, but I know I ain’t the same. I’m a child, and I’m a man.
I felt something tonight I haven’t felt in years. I met a girl, fair and bright. I was stoned as hell, walking through the new IKEA, and she was with her family. I turned a corner talking loudly of how high I was. And she caught my eye. We locked eyes, she smiled. I walked away, looking back, we connected again. I smiled, and she smiled back. And the rest of the time, walking though the store, we locked eyes. I was always a few feet in front of her, with my friends. But we kept locking eyes, flirting, smiling at each other. And I felt good, I felt attractive. I felt accepted. I felt alive, and she was driving me further into this great happiness. No words exchanged, just blue eyes gleaming back at me in the fluorescent lighted super market. I’m in love yet again and I’m bragging. I’m always in love.
Paul Newman and boxer Rocky Graziano on the set of Somebody Up There Likes Me (Robert Wise, 1956), Graziano’s life story.